3 Marks the Spot

Humans put emotions into dead, cold sheet metals. We all do. Recall the last time when you thought the new car on the block had a smirk on its face. "Too cheeky for my liking", you silently murmur, not wanting others to badge you as an emo-centric individual. Larger-than-life grilles often have adverse effects, akin to humans who show more teeth, all the time - deadly when you get leaves in between (in either scenario).

Hence, drivers like, or want to be associated with a car that best represents their personality. We are landed with a trio of hatches from Citroen, specifically the DS lineup.

The French marque revived the original DS with a trilogy of models. You must have heard or read of it by now. The DSes of late have stirred countless souls with its pure, unadulterated display of French flair - these cars are eloquent in their language of stylishness. Matched with equally potent drivetrains (a result of the PSA collaboration), their appeal is stronger than ever.

The current DS lineup streams from the DS3 hatchback to the DS4 SUV-hatch crossover; not forgetting the flagship DS5, which incidentally carries a slumped back too. My pick, or anyone's with a sensible mind unclogged from propaganda influence, or the peer pressure from butter bread sedan fans, is the DS3.

It is pretty clear why so.

The DS3 is the only model blessed with the sportiness of a two-door, and cars with two doors are always way cooler than their four-door counterparts. Highly desirable sports cars come with only twin of doors. Even when carmakers try to make suede-looking, stylish, daily commutes without annihilating the rear practicality, they do it by creating an illusion of non-existent rear doors. Take Alfa Romeos for instance, many of its hatches feature hidden rear door handles to spruce up the sportiness of the cars.

Not that the DS3 substitutes all of its sensibility for its looks. It is still a practical car to live with. The rear seats are comfortable enough to pack two for urban commutes, and adequate space in the boot is good for daily runabouts and gym sessions. 

On the other hand, one may think that this is a pointless argument, given that these three cars come from the same marque, giving each of the DSes a distinctive character. Arguably, if one can make a good looking car, he can make three handsome cars with the same recipe. The designers have succeeded, but we are in contest of which is best to be seen in. To put things into perspective, a Jaguar XJ is a mesmerising beauty, but not one to be seen piloting. Because the last thing you ever want is to be deemed as the chauffeur. 

Credit where it's due, the other DSes are no less good looking. But 'half breeds' are nicknames we give to people we do not prefer. So are crossovers. They are nowhere here nor there; jack of all trades, but master of none. Let's not name the oblivion, but a hatchback on stilts will not set u across muddy lands, or any undulated terrain. To put it simply, a 'white elephant'.

How about the flagship? It must be good, bearing all the credentials that a marque would want to portray - possessing the best, if not better tech traits that will put entry models to shy. That, we will not deny. The DS5 is intrinsically styled, soundly engineered, and commands a stance that the DS3 and DS4 will struggle, but never match up to. But what good will it do being seen in your old man's ride?

Individualism - an aspect which carmakers are increasingly mind-blogged with. It differentiates the fresh cars from the stale staples; those which you will like to be seen in. Meant to be a funky lifestyle car, the DS3 allows you to work your creativity - matchmaking colours, textures and trims to bring out the best in the car (and you). And no, I don't remember the DS4 and DS5 having such options.

There should be no lingering doubts about a car's ability to affluent the driver's image. That said, the DS3 to the rest is what caviar is to chicken egg - you still get the protein, but in a more savoury manner.

4 The Win

The scenario of me driving three different cars before selecting one isn't quite favourable. The cars look the same and the people, worse. Or is it just me having a bad hangover due to the whore's tongue of mine hanging out for beer? The whole concept of having to choose the best DS (in my opinion) is a combination of deceit, madness and favouritism. A colleague of mine once told me that choosing is like a substitute for driving. Of course, the problem with such a sweeping statement is that it can easily become an untruth, a part truth, a lie or just a wilted gardenia. 

Yet, checking out the three DSes I do find the same oddity - before the drive they all looked decently attractive. But as I try each climbing number of the DS (starting from the 3, of course), they get more and more attractive, until just before you pen your last note down it takes all one's facilities not to commit theft on the chosen car.

This article will probably have more credibility if it's a German or the Citroen Chief Engineer addressing you but I know neither of them so I guess you'll just have to bear with me. I am basically a hard-nosed kind of guy. That is, any given day when there are car reviews, you just aren't going to get much info and feedback from me.

Naturally, I have some solid notes taken down either on my palm or my handphone or on my notebook, and I'd be a damn fool to reveal them to anybody because then, it will not work. Simply put, once the public gets into something, it is either dead or it changes.

In this case, with the Citroen DS cars, I'll lay off the DS3. The crowd loves hatchbacks (and I really mean hatchbacks and not crossovers), and I do too. But if it's a hatch, it should be a pocket rocket. The DS3, on the other side of the page, isn't made to possess some kind of super driving strength. Instead, Citroen DS cars have always been more popular with its influential designs and it's not about to make an exception now.

Justifiable expenditure is another factor you will need to consider. Money in Singapore society is probably more serious than death and you hardly get anything for nothing. If you're going to have to pay $189,988 (as of 9th Nov 2012) for a car that will have problems with tight spaces, forget it. Either the designer had a hangover when he made his final design mocks or our Government is really hanging all of us on a tight noose. You don't get anything free in this world. Sure, the DS5 gives you ample space and a whole lot of uniqueness, but at what cost?

Citroen cars, especially of late, has been the epitome of style. Although most may argue that style is something money can't buy, the DS4 is one car that you can get the dancer out of the gates. If you're looking for something a bit different from the usual family hatches, the Citroen DS4 is one helluva choice. Although I can't afford to get my skinny butt sued (in case the DS 4 doesn't work out for you), I'm pretty darn positive about this cross breed between a hatch and SUV.

If there's a catch phrase for the mega motoring world, it has to be 'crossover'. Car makers are falling over themselves to blend two styles into one, but quirky French carmaker Citroen has taken the concept of a 'crossover' to a whole new level. Yup, the genius of Citroen's past is reviving, and we like it. A lot.

For starters, you can't deny its stylish good looks. Sure, the car isn't perfect but cars as interesting as this are few and far between. Of course the DS3 and the DS5 are just as chic and unique but they somehow don't come quite as close as the DS4. It's no German flair but it's cars like this that signifies a range that provides good looks and surprising practicality.

Imagine this - Citroen says the DS4 comprises the style of a coupe with the practicality of a saloon and the driving position of an SUV. The unintended consequence of such a description suggests very strongly that this car is a jack of all trades. I mean, how many cars these days can be bold enough to say they are on par with the DS4?

It's the intricacies and eccentricities of the DS4 that make it standout. The Juke-style (or Veloster if you may) rear door handles and gorgeous details in the contours of the head and tail lights create a level of stylistic drama beyond its peers in its class. And it does show the same quality in the interior, too, with a poetic dashboard and a steering wheel that doesn't overdo its chrome bits.

Seriously, before you write off the DS4 as a mere French curiosity, think twice. It stands to be the best DS yet that will make you look good.

Fabulous 5

Let's face it. We are Singaporeans. And we all know the number one infamous trait - 'kiasu'. It's only natural that we want to get every cent worth for a product that we buy. 

Faced with the trio of DSes from Citroen, it's not hard for the smart buyer to see which stands out in terms of worthiness. Unparalleled practicality, immense style - this leads me to the all new Citroen DS5. 

None of the rest in the pack can hold up to the DS5 in these aspects. And one does look better when seen with the smarter choice isn't it? Putting it into better perspective - when was the last time we ridiculed at puny, impractical cars which couldn't even hold their own, and cost a bomb to own? 

From the pictures, you may think that the DS5 is an MPV. Well it does look like one, given its size. In the flesh, however, it's actually a tad smaller, and happens to be a crossover amongst a hatchback, four-door coupe, stationwagon, sports saloon, and SUV. Or should I say, a hatchback with a longer rear end. Whatever you call it (maybe a hatchwagon), boy, the DS5 is one good looking car.

Being the latest addition to the DS family, the DS5 has a fresh, eye catching and daring design. When I first set my eyes on it, I was impressed with its sleek curves and that sexy, aerodynamic silhouette. Maybe that's the French way of being romantic. And yes, I have fallen for it.

For once, I thought I was a pilot as I entered the DS5's cockpit styled cabin - the DS5's overhead centre console showcases wisely engineered buttons and toggle switches. These sleek and easy to reach consoles are perfectly positioned for absolute clarity and control. Similarly, the centre panel houses standard controls such as power window, central locking, electric child lock and the integrated infotainment system - all of these, at a comfortable reach. Who says style must be compromised for function?

The DS5 also comes with individual sunroofs for driver and front passenger, giving them as much freedom as possible and is easily, my favourite feature. Sunroofs are cool - and no, neither of the other DSes comes with it. Thanks to the designers who thought of this, and mind you individual sunroofs are novelty items - you simply won't get to see this in any other car.

Speaking of comfort, the DS5 is fitted with 'watchstrap styled' seats, wrapped with fine Bavarian leather. These chic looking seats, first featured in the DS4, provide excellent lumbar support and maximum comfort. And they are now present in the backseats as well, only with the DS5. In this case, you can forget about the DS3, which only comes with fabric seats as stock, and as the rear passenger, you don't even have a door to enter.

Another attention seeking feature of the DS5 is the heads up display, which is a concave screen with driving information that folds up every time the engine is started, akin to those in a fighter jet. And pilots look cool, don't they?

Size matters. Compared to its two puny siblings, in terms of space, the Citroen DS5 has more generous boot capacity. Well, that's pretty obvious. Fold down the rear seats and the car can easily swallow a week's groceries. 

Once you shut the doors, there is a sense of security in the quiet cabin. With a push of the button, the 1.6-litre engine roars to life. On the other hand, the DS3 and the DS4 still require the conventional twist. In idling mode, the engine is surprisingly quiet, unlike the DS4's slight clatter while stationary. On the drive, one would appreciate the fully automatic transmission of the Citroen DS5 more than the semi automatic transmission (think of it as a clutch-less manual) of the DS3 and the DS4. With fewer jerks and smoother gear changes, more power as well as a reasonable fuel economy, urban driving pleasure is what the DS5 can promise.

Driving the DS5 is a bold statement and is bound to make heads turn. Seriously, where can you find a car that makes you, as a driver, want to tell other motorists that "It's okay to stare"?

The larger dimensions may put the DS5 in tighter spots, such as manoeuvring in extremely cramped spaces or spiralling up the whiny ramps in shopping centres. I am sure Julian has mentioned that the DS4 can accomplish this in no mean feat, but the DS5 can do it too, without any problem.

Yes we know that cars aren't cheap in Singapore, especially when COE prices have skyrocketed to a ridiculous level. Armed with a continental badge, the DS5 carries both the calibre and quality to quantify for the premium pricing - a good angle to pitch the purchase to your finance administrator (a.k.a spouse). Not forgetting being a typical 'kiasu' Singaporean, it fits the bill better than the other two, because it's worth it.